my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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