my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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