it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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