This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
