even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We talked him into tasing himself.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize