Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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