WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
