My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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