I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize