Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
