He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Less talking, more tequila
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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