very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
