i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm getting married
To pizza
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
