oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
