I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I don't deserve a penis
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
