So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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