The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
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