After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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