Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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