mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
