he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
