yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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