it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
