I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
