His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Your cock deserves a montage
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
