what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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