i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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