but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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