apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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