our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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