sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
