I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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