it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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