My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
There are leaves in my underwear?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
do nipples grow back?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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