how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
