apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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