I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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