Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Text me some of your sweat
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
