it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
