i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
