Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
