haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
