the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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