ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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