Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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