Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
