...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
