i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Houston, we have a blender
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
