I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
