so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
