i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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