I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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