my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
