Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
