She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
