Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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