At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
