Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
