I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
