wat bout pragnant strippers??
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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