Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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