Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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