called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
