I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
