How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
