Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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